I've been patronised by the maître d' and smirked at by the sommelier for sticking to the shallow end of the wine list. Mid-meal, I'm led almost by the hand to the "restrooms" by a member of staff; as he opens the door for me, I half expect him to say, "Enjoy your micturition, madam". There's the unmistakeable sound of someone retching in a neighbouring cubicle. And, to put the final garnish on t











