The original Petraeus of ancient Greece was a centaur, a mythical chimera with the body of a man from head to waist, the physique of a horse from loins to hooves and—thanks to this potent hybridization—a voracious sexual appetite. As legend tells us, when he and several other centaurs attended a royal wedding in Thessaly, Petraeus got totally smashed on the king’s fine wine, then proceeded to grab the bride and ravish her, as his fellow horse/men, also violently drunk and horny, commenced attacking the other female guests, turning the wedding party into a stampeding gang rape. With the cunning of a man and the genitalia of a stallion, Petraeus and the other centaurs proved formidable rapists and might have succeeded in their beastly assault. But several human guests, the legendary King Theseus among them, saved the day and the wedding party, fighting off the rapacious beasts, killing Petraeus and several other centaurs in what became known as the battle of the Centauromachy (a favorite classical art motif), while the rest ran off galloping for the Thessalian hills.